Calm yourself.

The external sounds were dancing like trapped leaves, caught up in the whirl wind, spinning with the pull of circling air. 

 She closed her eyes, and tried to calm her frantic thoughts. 

She slowed her breathing, inhaling deep breaths of air through her nose. 

'Calm yourself, calm your mind.' 

She closed her eyes and a vision appeared.

A vast sea, the warmth of the sunshine can be felt on her face and back. 

The water; bright blue emanating ripples as a gentle breeze caused waves to move upon the surface. 

 She feels at peace, but then she notices something approaching to her right.  A large, grey ship looming and oppressive.

 Thick smoke from its bowels disperse into the crystal clear air, polluting the peace.

 Above the ship hangs an accompanying dark cloud, hovering, lingering and lurking as it moves in union.

 This ship represented a difficult time approaching. On schedule, with set position, heading her way. 

 She sighed but knew that there was absolutely nothing she could do to prevent it or deter its course.

 She could not will it away, force it to abort and turn. It was approaching like a dark cloud of oppression and all she could do was to sit and wait. 

 Before too long she found herself submerged in the thick fog, she could taste the polluting fumes. 

The air turned dark and the sunlight ebbed away in retreat. Panic gripped her chest and she clenched her eyes shut, holding her breath. Heart rate racing she was reminded.

'Calm yourself, calm your mind'

In amongst the fog she composed herself, straightened her back, sat up tall. Looked within to find the box upon her lap marked with the word 'strength.'

  She opened it up, unfolding the worn piece of tattered paper that lay within. 

 She read the words upon its page. 

'You are strong, you can do this. It shall pass and all will be well. Hold fast my love.' 

And as she returned the page to its box, closing the lid and fixing its clasp she saw the ship had almost past. Travelling so slow and steady she willed it to sail faster, but she knew she had to simply wait.

The skies cleared, the fog thinned, the waters regained their blue clarity. The calm filled her lungs once more.

And as she breathed she noticed out upon the horizon many more grey ships, with darkened smoke trailing  from behind. Space in between each of them, clear seas and blue skies to separate each one. 

She knew she would face them all in times to come, not knowing yet what they represented, but she knew that she could face each one, with the voice of Wisdom by her side , whispering in her ear;

'Calm yourself, calm your mind.'

Rebekah knight 2015

   

Must I?

Must I awaken, from my sleep?

Where in my dreams, my life lives on,

amongst the thunder and the beams of the most glorious light?

Must I awaken from the place where bullets fly but do not puncture my skin?

My flesh does not bleed. I feel the fear, I run, I hide. But deeper still I know that I am safe. I sleep.

Must I awaken, for here awake, my flesh will tear, my heart will break, the stones you throw will bruise.

In my sleep, the battles flow and ebb away but I am safe. For these arrows are not made of flint and wood but of imagery and notion. 

In my dreams, I hide and burrow, nestle in until tomorrow's sun does rise. It's light breaks forth and as it touches my eyes I stir. I hear my heart's cry, 'Must I awaken?'

Rebekah knight 2013

Snowflake

Snowflake, such beauty and symmetry. Architecture of the finest form, created in the cold of dawn. 

Falling gracefully from the dark, vast skies.

You glimmer and shimmer before my eyes.

 I watch as you sway and dance, so full of pride.

 Aware of your beauty and splendour I gaze.

 Watching your fall in the cool, winter haze. 

Your landing so soft, you don't make a sound. 

As you join many others to form a cold, white, carpet on the ground. 

Your beauty and intricate design, survives for such a short space of time.

 For now you melt and mingle amongst the others, 

who took their flight and fall before yours.

Now you glisten gently on the crisp, white floor. 

But soon the sun will rise and you won't glisten anymore. 

It makes me question many things,

Why did God create the tiny wings, the flowers that seed, beauty in it's tiny form. 

To die so soon after it was born?

Fragile beauty captivates my mind,

For here in falling I too find,

I live I breathe, I am full of wonder.

But soon I too, will be gone,

for those left behind only to remember. 

Such fragile beauty, conflicts these thoughts inside.

Snowflake, snowflake you lived, you died. 

Clarity

I find myself amongst the living but in a place of non-belonging. 

Commercialism swirling, spinning, growling, killing.

Peace and still are at my core,

I want for nothing more.

I don't know how to bring that still to the busy waves around that seek to kill. 

I close my eyes and look within.

I seek the calm and safe and still.

It makes me feel connected to those who have passed on.

No fear in dying, their songs sings on. 

Perhaps at peace they now know it all?

Clarity rings her bells at dawn.

Their minds are clear, they've passed through their storm.

Their ship has sailed to brighter shores. 

Not that I'm ready to cross that line, I hold this life in my palms like a treasure. I appreciate that it is precious.

 The sands of time, slipping perfectly through the glass timer. The narrow path it first must pass.

Appreciation for all that is true.

 Not materialism, power, or fame.

But the morning dew on a blade of grass, the trees that sway in the wind, a tear on another's face, the gift of touch, to embrace. To love, to hurt, to lend a hand. It's all a symphony, perfectly planned.

 There are those who live way above this gift, unaware of the tides below that shift. 

They are too busy, rushing around, to quieten down, to hear the sound. The heartbeat of the world around. It has it's own breath. She speaks so profoundly to those who tune in to her voice . 

It all has purpose, it all is life.

 But again, we have a choice.

 Dig deeper into her soil, there is richness there. 

Far beneath the spinning and the surface cheer. 

Here is where I find myself.

 Rolling in this deep. It's where I hear her heartbeat.

 I breathe here well, my soul does gladly swell.

 I find my freedom here to speak, to make sense of this deep.

 It is like a well, deep and full.

 I drink of it's goodness. Her dark solitude heals my soul. 

I realise,

 I am not lost at all. 

Rebekah knight. 2013

Under the stars

Lying out under the stars,

My babies and me.

Aged seven and three.

Talking about nature, 

Birds singing and climbing trees.

All is quiet except for Mother natures song.

Relaxed and cozy, cuddling, 

breaths deep and long.

Breathing in the grass scented air,

Talking of life and vivid imaginations,

Not a care.

This is the stuff of life,

A mothers love,

A child's response.

Listening to my daughters ideas and deep thoughts.

Lying peacefully under the darkened skies,

Time has slowed for her and I 

To just simply talk.

Breathe it in, make it count.

I take a snap shot with my mind.

No cameras, no music, no gadgets interrupting.

This special moment of simple nothings.

This is the stuff of life. 

Rebekah knight 2014

Escaping religion

While you sit and argue over your theories, dogmas and differences, protesting to one another who is more upright, moral and correct, the world moves and spins.

 Babies wake in a new world absorbing the wonder and beauty of all they see before them.

First touch, new life, mothers eyes and hands available now.

Same sex marriage, baptist, fundamental, charismatic, right or wrong?

An old man breaths his last, thinking of the family he lost years ago, dreaming of a world where he will be loved and noticed once more.

Knock on our door, join our clan, we can help you become something better. Follow the rules one, two, three. If you fit in, look and sound just like me.

Trees swing and spin in the gentle breeze, causing  them to dance and move and celebrate the life that runs through their branches. Bursting forth a new growth of greenery and new life, fruit freely given to any passer by who reaches out and takes and eats for himself. 

Candles lit, sermons read, songs are sung, suggestions made, concrete rules, fading light, something here is not quite right?

The sun sets, the orange and magenta skies, magnificent scenes before my eyes. Stars that hang in the great, dark, expanse. Creating patterns and twinkling light. 

 Rolling waves, salty air, my fingers running through my daughters hair. The gift of touch, the healing power of love. 

 Sharing, giving, feeling, seeing, freeing, emotions running wild, creativity, freedom of expression, gratitude, warmth, friendship, joy, peace... Don't miss this! 

This is God, 

this is life, 

help another take their flight,

 help your neighbour with their fight,

 shed the hardened shell that claims to know my Heavenly Father well. 

But I have come to see, and aware somehow I always knew, he was the light flickering, breaking through. In times when things to me did not make sense. 

Holy mother spirit, Father God celebrated in fullness, mirrored perfectly in creatures, poured out into humanity. 

The twisted darkness that clouds this truth, that is the force I fight. The fog that clouds this perfect light. The truth that all men should and will all know, we are perfect, loved and known. Intimately, intricately designed, fabulous creations of the great artist designed.

 Loved immensely, cherished still, not forgotten, never will. Held by love, suspended here, given life to explore, discover at our will. 

Open your eyes, see the wonder! Look within, we are all family. Part of the same body, not to be torn asunder. 

Unite again, love as one, heal the scars that darkness brought, the illusions that we are not the same, that we do not share our fathers name. 

 Wipe away the blindness we carry still, to return us to your perfect will. Rid the world of hatred and worldly gain and help us all to see again! How magnificent and beautiful we are, so close to you... Not far. 

Rebekah knight

2014

Growing up

I remember the pain I felt when you stopped feeding from my breast.

Letting go of those sweet, cherished moments of tenderness. 

I cried knowing that these days would not return,

You were growing up and my heart yearned,

for time to stand still a little while longer. 

I remember seeing the mischief in your eyes.

 Your desire to mix with other children and  to socialise. 

We decided that you wanted and now needed nursery,

Just a few hours, without me. 

Those hours were for you, but I sat at home, twiddling my thumbs, cleaning up the chaos you had made, missing you! Wondering what you were up to.

The time came for you to sleep in your grown up bed, not snuggled next to me, squirming and kicking at my head. The softness of your skin close to mine. You had decided it was time. Sure you came in for your cuddles, but a part of you had grown. 

Then the day came, all to soon.

Time to stay at big school.

All day without me, 

Playing, reading, learning happily!

You had fun, even though you missed me. My days suddenly felt a little empty. 

Letting go a tiny part, each milestone fills me with joy and also breaks my heart. Time please slow, just a little while.

Big school, college, maybe married one day. All these things I look forward to. But I will never forget holding you. Nursing you, smiling at your baby face. Cherishing our sweet mother and child embrace. 

Rebekah knight. 

2015