Growing up

I remember the pain I felt when you stopped feeding from my breast.

Letting go of those sweet, cherished moments of tenderness. 

I cried knowing that these days would not return,

You were growing up and my heart yearned,

for time to stand still a little while longer. 

I remember seeing the mischief in your eyes.

 Your desire to mix with other children and  to socialise. 

We decided that you wanted and now needed nursery,

Just a few hours, without me. 

Those hours were for you, but I sat at home, twiddling my thumbs, cleaning up the chaos you had made, missing you! Wondering what you were up to.

The time came for you to sleep in your grown up bed, not snuggled next to me, squirming and kicking at my head. The softness of your skin close to mine. You had decided it was time. Sure you came in for your cuddles, but a part of you had grown. 

Then the day came, all to soon.

Time to stay at big school.

All day without me, 

Playing, reading, learning happily!

You had fun, even though you missed me. My days suddenly felt a little empty. 

Letting go a tiny part, each milestone fills me with joy and also breaks my heart. Time please slow, just a little while.

Big school, college, maybe married one day. All these things I look forward to. But I will never forget holding you. Nursing you, smiling at your baby face. Cherishing our sweet mother and child embrace. 

Rebekah knight. 

2015